Sometimes I wonder...

I wish sometimes that I could do something for my friends. Many of them almost always seem like they are in agony and I feel ashamed that I cannot help them. That I am caught up in my own little world to figure out what to do to make them feel any better. If I was just able to help my friends maybe I would feel like a better person.

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve actually started to have minor panic attacks. It’s not good. I don’t want to have a anxiety problem like my mother. It only happens when I am alone or I am feeling extremely down, like my life does not matter anymore. I’ve even had them at home, that’s what the sick feeling has been lately, with my heart pumping in my chest. I’ve noticed it started while Jacob was still here. He started it all.

Does it even matter anymore?