Inside the depths of my being I know that I cannot let him go. That I will hold onto that string of hope. But also that one little strand of hope needs to be severed sometime traumatically by someone or something. I don’t know how, because I’ve already lied to myself countless times over and over about certain things and instead of believing what he himself told my best friend I believe myself.

I wonder at times what is really healthy for my body and my soul. I know that instead of being a good influence on this earth I know that I am usually a bad one. But so is most of the human population. Right? But there are the times when I wonder what is right and what is wrong and I do the complete opposite of both and take a totally different path, the one that does nothing. 

I know that I have participated in unrequited love. I know there are many that have. But I still find it hard to let go of that little glimmer of hope.

There are people these days now that consider one date going steady. Which is usually not the case.  I wish people would see past that one date and figure why it didn’t work. Maybe if one date didn’t mean going steady I wouldn’t be afraid to go on dates, I also would have probably let this guy go.

I’m not too different from the rest of society am I?